Rest.

Rest. 

Why does rest feel so elusive sometimes?

But, to get to this “why”, we first need to consider what it is, and why it matters. 

So, what does rest really mean?

And by that, I don’t mean the literal definition. I think we all generally know what it means. But no doubt we have begun to attach other meanings or associations with it. Pause for a second and see if these sound familiar. And also begin to consider that these are NOT effective for accomplishing a fulfilling life that  say things about rest, that are not For example, 

I’ll rest when the work is finished. 

But, is the work ever truly done?

I’ll rest when there is nothing better to do. 

But, what does this even mean? However, I have been guilty of thinking this and have certainly watched others live out this belief too demonstrating sleep as the last priority.

I can’t rest because I can’t turn my brain off. 

Um, maybe when this happens our brain is communicating it is processing a lot, is overstimulated, and needs rest so it can calm down and see the essential next steps.

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” 

This sounds clever, and often gets a good laugh, but that’s about it. And this can certainly a self-fulfilling prophecy… and not the good kind. More on that in a minute.

 I have certainly said, and lived like I believe, some of these self-defeating thoughts about rest and what it means to be rested.

Also, I know I need frequent reminders about what rest does mean and I am still learning how to effectively do it. I feel confident I am not the exception.

So to make sure we are all clear, here is a refresher from Oxford Languages on what rest means – 

As a verb:

“Cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength.”

As a noun: 

“An instance or period of relaxing or ceasing to engage in strenuous or stressful activity.”

And given music is so inspiring… we should note the definition of rest within the context of music is “an interval of silence of a specified duration.”  Even the silence has a profound effect on the way a song impacts us.

And science has proven why rest is important. Through research, a tremendous amount of studies, we know rest is important physically, mentally, and spiritually. It is critical to our well-being and productivity.

Here are a few of the highlights: 

Rest gives us improved: 

• Physical Health - Our cells and tissues can recover. We have better energy, memory, and ability to learn.

• Mental Health - As a result of rest. We have more creativity, enhanced decision making, and happiness

• Work Productivity - Taking time off from work has been shown to not only improve our physical and mental health but also to improve life satisfaction and productivity. Read that again. Taking time off actually makes us more productive.  

• General Well-being

Without adequate rest we have poorer outcomes in each of these areas as well. Physical results of having little rest include symptoms including headaches, decreased ability to resist infection, and increased risk of conditions such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, obesity, etc. People who do not rest (including getting at least 7 hours of sleep each night) are at greater risk for mental health conditions including depression and anxiety. 

Our culture of overwork, which has been coined “hustle culture”, places an unhealthy focus on productivity, ambition, and success and places very little focus on a persons need for work-life balance, rest, self-care, and play. The underlying belief is that of toxic productivity – “one must constantly be productive to succeed”.  

But, spoiler alert. We are simply not able to be productive constantly. 

Impossible.

We are 100% set up for failure. 

And this expectation can ruin what time we do take off work. It can disrupt our moments before bed where we need to be letting our thoughts slow. It can make it nearly impossible for us to focus as we read our kids a book before bedtime, or ignore the buzz of our phone as a new email or text comes through. 

And if this sounds familiar with you, know that I have expertise in this as well. 

Here are 3 things I have learned are critical ingredients for my life and what I refer to as my recipe for rest.

1. Taking at least a day a week to intentionally rest is life and productivity changing. 

My first semester of my PhD I had a crash- course in testing the theory of whether constant productivity is possible. And my lived experience – was quiet miserable. I worked incredibly long hours, everyday, and was much less productive than it I had worked less and rested more. I saw my quality of life for what it was – poor. And after finishing that semester, and actually resting over the Christmas holiday, the difference was remarkable. I made a new commitment to taking one day off a week. A day where I knew my body and mind could really rest. Of course there have been relapses and exception but very few because I saw the difference this rhythm of rest - taking a day off a week - could make. 

2. Remember “I am here”. 

When my mind is filled with many to-do’s I can give it a brief rest by taking ~10 seconds to breathe in and out and remind myself “I am here”. By doing this, I anchor myself to where I am and I can more clearly see my next right step. I can see what is essential instead of being overwhelmed by non-essential activities clamoring for my attention. I start many of my morning pages journaling the words “I am here” as I learned form Julia Cameron in her The Artist’s Way. There is something super powerful about reminding your mind “I’m not back there anymore” and “I’m not in the future yet either” to help me remember I want to fully be here with my eyes and heart wide open. When I focus on what I am experiencing “here” I can scan my body and mind to know when i am needing a nap, a short walk to clear my mind and energize my body, etc. 

3. Even on the busiest of days I can practice a rhythm of rest. 

The two pictures here are from Deep River where I like to sit, write, and walk beside. I snapped these last week.

The first pic I took in the morning and the other at dusk. It was a full day but bookending it in this way was an opportunity for me to remember —

I can make conscious decisions to do things that make me remember to slow down and savor.

It is worth more than the effort it takes. It makes me want to keep coming back and slowing down. Like anything, over time I have found simple easy to do things that make me want to slow down. 

We do our best work from a place of rest.

And we do not have to earn rest. If we want to succeed we will rest. This is not negotiable. 

I have lots of studies I could cite, and best practices I have tested with results I could share. As fun (and funny, and humbling) as that would be, for now I just encourage you to consider YOUR recipe for rest. 

What are the ingredients you need to be able to rest and do it consistently? 

And though I am not much of a cook, I do know that a recipe requires planning to make sure you have the right ingredients available to you, in the right amount, and at the right time for the recipe to turn out as we hope. Over time we become more experienced with the recipe and the flavor improves.

I believe the goal is that as we develop these rhythms of rest that it becomes much harder to STOP doing them because we have made it part of our daily rhythms and because we have experienced the power this provides. Once we have tasted it, it is hard to go back to the hurried “when I have time I will” mindset.

And then we can see how our commitment to rest and well-being can influences the culture around us, the rhythms of our families, and our relationships. That is the antidote to the hustle culture that otherwise is simply a recipe for misery. 

So, imagine what a life where you have a consistent rhythm of rest looks like for you. Maybe this is already your reality. What are you already doing to accomplish this?

Or maybe you are still clumsily trying to do what you know to do in your mind but struggle to consistently deliver on…. Like going to bed at a reasonable hour so you can get 8 hours of sleep or putting your phone on “do not disturb” so you have help resisting the urge to obsessively respond to the dings from your electronics. 

We are all a work in progress. This is also work that is never done.

But I am also convinced there is a better way and the more I taste a unhurried life, the more of this I crave.   

You are the only expert on what rest looks and feels like for you. These are the activities that deeply inspire you and give you more energy not less. These are also the ways you can get your body and mind to truly rest and be restored. It includes but it not limited to the vacations you take, the hours that you sleep, your morning and evening routine, the exercise, that fuels you, and the fun things you do that help you feel joy. 

I encourage you to take a few unhurried minutes and envision what this can and should look like for you. And if you have rhythms of rest that work well for you… please do share in the comments below.