Mirrors: Looking At versus Within You
A mirror that caught my eye at The Depot at Gibson Mill (my favorite antique mall).
Think with me for a few minutes about how we use mirrors in our lives.
I believe mirrors are both commonplace and transformative. They are functional and whimsical.
How many mirrors do you have around your home? Are you like me and have many different shapes and sizes?
Strategic use of mirrors is one of my favorite interior design strategies for many reasons. Mirrors add great style and impact without much effort. For example, they
Are functional – we use them daily as we get ready
Reflect – they reflect whether it is light or other items in front of them and this reflection causes greater impact
Add style – simply adding a frame can turn up the volume on its wow factor. Mirror styles that are beautiful and trending in 2023 shown linked here
Add dimension – this makes any room feel more interesting and bigger
I have zero doubt we all use mirrors to make sure we are presentable to leave the house … or get ready for Zoom if you are like me and are still working largely from home.
So we all know we can use a mirror to look at ourselves. But how often do we use a mirror to look into ourselves?
Using a mirror to look at ourselves versus into ourselves.
Yes.
When was the last time you looked at a mirror and really looked into yourself? When have you:
Looked into your eyes to see how you are doing? And to pause long enough to hear your own answer?
Looked at yourself and instead of thinking about whether you would look presentable by others standards, paused and asked yourself if you are presentable by your own standards on the inside and outside?
Instead looked curiously into yourself as you would a friend and check-in with you about how you are feeling?
What would it feel like to look into ourselves as much as or even more than at ourselves?
About two months ago I realized this is what I was doing – I was looking into me not merely at me.
I had stopped and really saw. It was a defining moment.
Initially, I saw sadness. I had been pushing forward through a hard season with multiple competing demands and it wasn’t until I saw that sadness in my eyes that I could really acknowledge it.
As I did, the tears started to flow.
I went from realizing I looked a little sad to really letting myself be sad. I saw my face shift from stoic to relaxed. In another season, I might have said
“come on Michelle you don’t have time for this”
or
“don’t waste your time crying just move on”.
But, instead of beating myself up I thought —
“Yes, of course you are tearful. This is so hard.”
I looked into my eyes. I saw their blueness and the individual tears as they dropped. I didn’t rush.
And the tears passed.
It may seem like this was a very vulnerable moment, and on one level it was. But it felt more than that.
It also felt powerful.
I felt powerful not ignoring me or minimizing what I was going through. And before I walked away I had gone from being sad, to seeing my sadness, feeling my sadness, feeling my power, and finished by acknowledging “wow. You are making it.” And feeling proud of myself.
Sometimes, as I am practicing looking “into me” through the mirror now I see delight.
Sometimes, it is eagerness to see what the day will hold.
Other times, I see a bit of fear and I’m able to remind myself that I don’t want to waste any more time in my life feeling that so I acknowledge the fear, then reframe it as excitement and move forward. There is more to unpack here but I hope for now that this gets you thinking about ways you can practice seeing you.
I want you to know I'm trying to slow myself down so I can not only look at me but also into me and it is making me feel more seen.
I’m feeling more appreciative of myself. More present with me. More proud of who I am and more accepting of the condition of my mind and body than I have been in the past. This was overdue.
If you haven’t tried standing in front of a mirror with the intention of looking into you, will you do so and let me know how it goes?
And if you have, and I not-so-secretly hope you have more expertise than me. If you do, will you share how you practice this? Any tips, tricks to further savor who you are at the moment? The body you are in? Your mind just as it is? The emotions you are having: the good, the bad, the in between?
One of my favorite mirrors. Fun fact, in 2022, it fell from this wall. It sounded like lightning striking and it scared me nearly to death. The mirror broke into what felt like a million little pieces. I had a new mirror cut for it and the frame repaired… because some things are worth fixing.
