It has become common in our American culture today to dismiss quietness. Most people think of quietness as not being busy, but I am learning that I need to get quiet, particularly on my busiest days. I need quiet like I need oxygen. I can pretend I don't, but it will not end any better if I kept holding my breath.  

If you have realized that the Mother's Day holiday and its traditions (including the commercialism of it all) are complicated, this post is for you. And if Mother's Day seems straightforward or it was barely a blip on your radar screen, I also wrote this with you in mind.

Consider if there is a new opportunity to shift your perspective that would help you and those you love experience deeper connection, compassion, and healing.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I am just getting started in many ways. I want to live life bravely, ready to face and endure danger or pain, and courageously face today and the future.

So, what have you been wondering about? Is there something you have been asking others about, trying to scratch that longing for someone to give you that bit of advice that will make it clear?

Is it possible that you are the person you are longing for?

When we reclaim our power in these different ways, we can experience increased confidence and resilience. This self-discovery can feel daunting, like we are starting all over, but that is untrue. It is NEVER easy. It is not selfish; it is self-compassionate.

When you ask yourself these questions only you can answer, I am confident your answers will be more impactful than any words I can share here.

What will you reclaim for yourself today?

The act of intentionally carving out that time just for ourselves is powerful. Within the science of self-compassion, this act falls within the element of self-kindness.  For me, once again, going on one of these “pilgrimages” to the Outerbanks or Melanchton signals I haven’t forgotten. I don’t want to forget all these parts of my story. Returning is a beautiful opportunity to integrate our whole selves, which we need to bring into each day – our whole selves. 

I can still remember what she said: “I want you to do your fullest expression for today.” Her words felt like a cool drink on a hot summer day. This was an invitation to stop striving and shift to the wonder of simply doing my best with what I have at that moment. To see what I am doing instead of what I cannot do. To surrender my expectations.

We all crave familiarity, and when we go through change and differences, we can self-sabotage to return to what is familiar. May we all be a little more honest and a little more open about the things we really want and need.

Let’s make the time to get quiet so we can know what these things are and be ready to recognize and welcome them.

There are three things I have been reminding myself of to help me embrace this “quiet season” and what is coming. I call them the “Get quiet and”.

I thought I had run out –

Of words. 

Of creativity. 

But so did Andy Warhol. And spoiler alert, he had a lot of creativity left and so do we.

Arizona looked different than I expected up close. What I was seeing was no longer limited by distance as it was in the airplane, or from my hotel suite. It was not clouded by my assumptions of what Phoenix, Arizona “is like” based on pictures and stories.

Phoenix was more beautiful than I had imagined.

And, dear friend, so is life. And experiencing mirroring from a dear friend makes it much more tolerable during the hard times and joyful in the happy times.

You are the only expert on what rest looks and feels like for you. These are the activities that deeply inspire you and give you more energy not less. These are also the ways you can get your body and mind to truly rest and be restored. It includes but it not limited to the vacations you take, the hours that you sleep, your morning and evening routine, the exercise, that fuels you, and the fun things you do that help you feel joy.
I encourage you to take a few unhurried minutes and envision what this can and should look like for you.

What is IDD and why does will it take all of us to dismantle the oppression this community continues to experience? In this blog post, I discuss this and share a glimpse into my work at Duke and UNC as a researcher and nurse practitioner.

I believe mirrors are both commonplace and transformative. They are functional and whimsical. They can also be a power tool for helping us look into ourselves and not simply at ourselves.

All Suicidal Ideation Communicates Suffering. Whether you are suffering or you are trying to support someone else who is suffering, don’t go through it alone. Lastly, practice presence and don’t turn away.